S3 Episode 06: The Stanford Student
We're in furious agreement.
First of all: an apology! Extremely busy work week + cramps + general period unwellness delayed me! You will…clock the moment I went for speed recapping as opposed to my usual, dedicated thoroughness. I am pretty sure there is another disclaimer about it in down there, but I am simply not going to be re-reading, or frankly, editing this one bit!
How are we doing, friends? Have we found a way to live with the things we know after last week? Because frankly, I have not! I suppose the only way out is is up (Elsie whispered) so let’s get into it!
I saw your Miss Saigon helicopter arrival, we all did!
New York City, HEARD OF IT? Good, cause we’re in the streets of the big city as Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson reports on the Hyperion + uba deal. Stella is walking, presumably to work, Alex (I missed you!) is watching Your Day America from her stunning kitchen, Cory is watching from his Hamptons home, drinking espresso and leaning so far into his computer screen that I would be surprised if he didn’t merge with it entirely. “Should a billionaire with an outsized aversion to the press be handed the keys to a legacy media company at a time where truth matters, more than ever?” Laura asks, fairly. Cory slams his laptop shut. “Everybody’s jealous.” Whatever you say buddy!
Paul is doing his best to assuage the worries of the staff from the set of TMS. Sidebar: are the only two program on this network TMS and The Evening News With Bradley Jackson? Is there a sports show? What about an Entertainment Tonight? No wonder ya’ll can’t pull in any money. He’s yammering in that very specific tech guy way— which I guess just means I assume he is lying— when Alex saunters in (late, of course). He opens to the floor to questions, and though Madam Levy opens her mouth, Bradley beats her to it. “Yep—what’s your take on the hack, and do we know who is behind it?” Russia is the current top contender, but he’s happy to have his forensic team “drill down” on the matter and figure it out. Not that they should worry, because of course their data will be safe at Hyperion. Big tech having privacy issues is simply unheard of, after all! Mia wants to know if folks at TMS will be safe from layoffs, but Paul wants to expand things at TMS, not lay people off! Alex raises her hand, he calls on her, then immediately negs her for raising her hand.
Oh but Madam Levy has something up her sleeve! I guess her time off last week was spent reading up on Hyperion, because she slams him with a whammy of a question. As his business has such close ties to governments and oligarchs, how can they be assured that reporting about his company or associates won’t be buried? Paul would like to clarify that he has never even MET an oligarch, and he’s not even sure what they would want to report on about Hyperion. Well maybe the fact that your company works with law enforcement and has facial recognition software that they are using to racially profile people? She asks, batting those STARTLINGLY BLUE eyes at him. Mia whispers that “Norma Rae is coming in a little hot” to Bradley, who makes the most BAFFLING face in response, just like a deeply over acted reaction face. To the Reese who could act: come back! Paul tries to play it off, saying that Stella is in charge of the news and she will continue to be in charge of the news when he buys uba. The whole back and forth is weirdly adjacent to deeply public banter flirting.
Cory is pissed that Madam Levy highjacked his little friendly getting to you you chat and takes her up to his office for a lecture. “If you could avoid accusing our new partner of racially profiling the good people of Arizona, that would be swell.” He wants her to keep her personal feelings toward Paul out of it. Everyone saw them on arrive on that whirlybird! She wants credit for bringing him back to the table, and he (rather fairly, I must admit) points out that she can’t get points for fixing a deal she fucked up by dipping on their space journey. Sure, Alex might have been a little hasty before, but now she’s on board and wants to do a little due diligence. She wants Paul on Alex, Unfiltered. There are so many skeptics out there, after all. Cory needs her to shut up and go along with the deal, it is not her turn for a seat at the table, and uba has vetted him. Alex: “I haven’t.”
Knock kock! It’s Paul and Amanda, just swinging by! Unless now is a bad time? Hmm, I wonder what makes them think now, while the CEO and his star anchor are yelling loudly with the door open, might be a bad time? HMMM. No worries, Alex was just on her way home to chug vodka from her freezer, but first she has to awkwardly squeeze between Amanda and Paul in the doorway. It is certainly not how any human person has ever entered or exited a room, but it does give Amanda the opportunity to go “Ooookay,” as Paul stares down at Alex. Cory throws up his hands and grins. Talent, you know how they can be! Then the scene just ends??
In Bradley’s Loft, our favorite reporter slash aider and abetter of federal crimes is struggling to set up a pack and play. That’s right, Noted Criminal Hal is here! With Cheryl and the baby! Reese displays exactly three seconds of patented Witherspoon Charm while holding her niece, apologizing for not being able to figure out how set up the pack and play. Cheryl will be referred to as Dr. Flop, because she is famously the doctor who Meredith accuses of killing Derek in season three thousand of Grey’s. And look, in fairness to her, she did try to argue for a head CT, but Dr. Flop is funny! Everyone is cooing about Bradley’s apartment, a sitcom set from 2013, and Dr. Flop can’t wait to watch Bradley “do the news.” Hal doesn’t know if they’re have time, and is quite stressed as the ladies…do baby stuff or whatever. Having a lofted bedroom seems weird when you have guests staying over, doesn’t it? So exposed to everything? Also Bradley’s fridge is hideous, like I cannot express how much I hate it. Don’t mind the backsplash though!
Stella is heading into the conference room to meet with Paul, who is running late because “Sports wants to build out programming based on [his] Formula One team.” So Sports does exist! They have been banned from staff retreats, and upon hearing this detail, I get down to my knees and beg the writers to give us an episode in the next season set at a uba staff retreat. Is now a good time to discuss how perplexing Stella’s outfit is? Typically I covet every single thing she is wearing, but this time I am… less moved and more miffed. I think it’s the cap sleeves, and that everything is the same color. We learn that Paul didn’t think Stella was “cut out” for tech, and that after she left Hyperion, she started a start up. Plus, she is one the reasons Paul is interested in uba. What does she want from him and his huge influx of cash money? To expand in digital, more political coverage, using Hyperion’s tech to “piggyback” on users search histories, blah blah. Stella wants to know why Paul is buying this company, and he starts to hint that Cory is the real problem. They’ve been flopping since he took over, wouldn’t she say? Stella and Cory’s relationship has always fascinating to me, they seem to, if not like one another, at least respect each other enough to maintain some sort of united front. So it’s not surprising to me that she covers for Cory, but Paul seems a bit miffed. Before they can really get anywhere, Amanda pops her head in, telling Paul “it’s time.” He leaves with her, and Stella is left alone on the conference room, nervously picking at her cuticles. Ominous, wouldn’t you say??
The Jackson Family tour has made it to SUMMIT ONE VANDERBILT, a rather tacky art installation slash building, and Bradley smiles proudly as Dr. Flop gasps about the view and fusses with baby Taylor. She dramatically confides to Hal “I LOVE HER” which is nice, but I am having a hard time believing Bradley knows anything about this woman beyond “made my fuck up brother clean up his act.” Hal loves her too, and feels really lucky that he made this family work, despite their rather harrowing upbringing. In fact, he’s grown and changed so much that he is planning on [long pause for dramatic effect] turning himself in to the Feds!!!!!!!
In two days, in fact! He will be turning himself in to the New York field office after he sends Dr. Flop and the baby home. Of course, Bradley is like Wow Hal! Taking responsibility for something in your life! I am so proud of you! No, she freaks out immediately! Despite his assurances that he will keep her out of it, Bradley is smart enough to know that is…impossible. It is hard to disagree with him here: he knows they’ll find him eventually, and he would prefer to skip the “traumatizing my family” step of being arrested by the FBI. “We are putting this BEHIND US,” Bradley hisses at him, as if this secret is not in danger of ruining every single aspect of her personal and professional life. Her threats don’t phase him, he remains committed to doing the right thing, leaving Bradley with her inner turmoil among the mirrored walls of SUMMIT ONE VANDERBILT.
Back at TMS, Alex is doing a parody of a “working journalist,” a sheaf of papers in her hand, more spread out all over her desk slash vanity. Personally I am loving the retcon to “Alex Levy: The World’s Most Serious Journalist.” Formerly this was a title held by Marcia Gay Harden AKA Maggie Brener, AKA the reason I started watching this show, but as they have been unable to remove MGH from the set of So Help Me Todd, Alex holds the title. Guess who drops by? It’s Paul! He makes a joke about her having summoned him, and she is so overcome by the presence of him in her dressing room that she gets a little twitchy. She has a request, and it is not to become his favorite oligarch, but in fact, she would like to interview him on her show. He says yes, but Alex is still nattering on, pitching him on why it would be a great opportunity. The level of her fluster increases when she realizes that he wants the interview to happen in two days. Doesn’t quite seem like enough time to prep, now does it? It might as well happen in the Hamptons, because they are sponsoring this season. The most delightful part of this whole scene is Jen Aniston reminding us that, despite her best efforts, she is first and foremost, a comedy queen. “Um. Alright. So there—that’s it. Great—I mean—Thursday it is. In the Hamptons? Soo nice. I’m really looking forward to it!” She prattles as she gets up and leaves. Paul: “This is your dressing room? Shouldn’t I be the one to go?”
In Alex’s office, the most curséd couple is debating when their anniversary is and where they should go to celebrate it. Like the two of you could ever leave this woman’s side, even for a minute, please get real! “Very subtle,” Alex says, when they leap apart upon her arrival. Sorry, but her insistence on roasting these two about their relationship at every opportunity is hilarious! Also she is wearing a seriouslyyyyyy cunty red heel, and that feels important to mention. Chip is shocked that Cory signed off on this, and Alex waves off that concern with a well manicured hand. Oh, and by the way, they are interviewing him in two days. Alex, that is completely impossible, I cannot make that happen, you have to know this!!! Chip wails, rending his garments. It would take weeks to prep for man of Paul’s power and influence! “Well, you are just gonna have to put your social life on hold! Wait a second, you are each other’s social life! Oh this will be fun, you’ll get to cuddle and read press clippings…” Isabella and Chip are clearly tired of this bit, but guess what? I am not, and neither is Alex. They can do this!
Now Chip is a man in need of a source, and isn’t it helpful that Stella used to work with Paul! It’s less helpful to me that she is still in this outfit I detest, but I suppose I can get over it. #Brave. Chip wants to know what Paul was like way back in their Silicon Valley days, clearly hinting that he wants the dirt. “Same as now: charming. Tall.” So that is a no on “hit and run, dead strippers, blood transfusions from a 12 year old boy”? Yep! That’s all she’s got, after all, Stella was still in school. There is a long pause where it seems like Chip has clicked into the fact that she might not be telling him the truth, but the man is so dumb I can’t believe that he can read her that well. Why does he want to know, anyway? She takes in the news that Alex will be interviewing Paul, then looks away, deep in thought. In The Dark Night of The Soul It’s Always 3PM On a Monday, amirite?
It is important to note that this is, to my knowledge, the first time The Morning Show has deigned to give us a transition that denotes time passing, so with great joy that I report to you that it is the next day! Dr. Flop is committing to her name by telling Bradley and Hal that she wants to visit all five boroughs today. I get that this is simply a trope of a tourist in the big city, but I am always so confused by very concept. Why would that be a thing you want to do, it seems so tiring! The costume designer really put their foot in “tourist from West Virginia” costuming, this is simply the most tragic cardigan I have ever seen:
Bradley invites them to drop by the studio to watch her pre-tape a segment for the show, and it is astounding to me that Dr. Flop does not clock the frosty tone in which she delivers this invite. Hal certainly does and glares back at her suspiciously. Wonder what ol’ Bradley has up her sleeve! On set, Gayle the legend apologizes for not being “as flashy” as TMS, but you know “they do alright,” for being just the evening news. It should be noted that Dr. Flop is in yet another sad cardigan. Gayle thinks they should hold this interview til June, but Bradley has to run it now. HMMMMM, why is she so bullish on this? Is it because she is interviewing a man who is currently awaiting trial for assaulting a police officer on Capitol Hill. BRADLEY!!!! MY GOD!!! This is deeply unhinged behavior! Why, this is positively Alex Levy levels of unhinged! It is also very funny to me that The Morning Show cannot commit to writing a believable Trump supporter—the man she is interviewing believed the election was stolen, but has now done the reading and suddenly understands that the claims were baseless? OooOokkay! Hal is alternating between looking at the ground and glaring at Bradley, Dr. Flop is blithely unaware, and who should come into focus from the shadows but Cory! The criminal gang is all here! Meanwhile, Bradley is taking a moment pause her interview to really hit the nail over Hal’s head. “The loss of your family…do you think it was worth it?” Then she pauses and literally glares at Hal. Please someone come get this tiny blonde lunatic!!
Mia, Chip and Stella are planning out how to market Alex’s interview—they can cross promo on TMS, drive up their numbers, get more people to subscribe to uba+, etc. Technically, Mia and Chip are having this conversation, because Stella is pacing and freeform disassociating. When they ask her for approval, she’s like YEAH WHATEVER IT IS FINE AND ALSO ME TOO I AM FINE!!! They are…understandably miffed, so she pulls herself together enough to ask how the interview prep is going, and if they’ve found anything on Paul. Chip says no, and Mia is happy to hear it— they don’t actually want to throw dirt on the face of the guy that is buying them, do they? There is an…uneasy accord, Chip and Mia leave, and Stella goes full Black Swan on her cuticles, which seems to remind her that she is the one with dirt on Paul. She wanders out to find Chip in the hall, and oh and I guess now is the time to mention that I am obsessed with her two tone suit look here. She wants to talk to him about Paul, and yes, those are tears glistening in her eyes! Greta Lee: ACTRESS!
You know, for all of Gayle’s “oh poor evening news, we’re not as fancy as TMS,” prattle, it should be noted that Bradley’s dressing room is roughly the same size as her apartment. Nice try Gayle, but I’m not buying this! We are in Bradley’s dressing room so Cory can ask her the question that is on all of our minds: why the fuck did she do that interview in front of Hal??? “In my experience, Hal doesn’t show up unless things are about to get fucked six ways to Sunday.” TRUE! But never fear, Bradley is handling this, okay! Obviously her fool proof plan of interviewing a rioter on the news and reminding him that he has a family is going to work, Cory. She demands that he stop interfering— bold, considering she roped him into this in the first place. “Fix it. Or I will.” Toxic of me, but: hot!
What’s this? The most beautiful noted lesbian I have ever seen, in a restaurant, applying a lip? She is at the most well lit, cavernous restaurant I have ever seen, and has managed to score a gorgeous center booth. I submit there is nothing worse than being forced to eat at two tiny folding chairs when you are trying to have a nice “reconnect with my ex” dinner. Bradley flutters in, flustered and bamboozled from her day of guilt tripping and grabs Laura in a very tight hug. “I need a drink, can we get a drink?” Girl, I bet!
And drink she does, let me tell you that. Laura is talking about the day to day realities of working with Audra (Mindy Kaling, it’s important we never forget that). Audra might be pregnant, as Laura clocked her rubbing her belly in the in silence in the dressing room. Bradley thinks she could be meditating, and Laura delivers what I think might be my favorite line of this episode: “Audra, meditating? She talked through our 9/11 moment of silence.” WHEW, that is on par with Sorkin’s Kissinger biopic, to me! Laura wants to know how everything is at uba, and Bradley panics, clearly thinking that the “craziness” Laura is referring to is about her covering up federal crimes, then catches on and fades back into stressed out panic. Anyone who has gone to therapy as much as Laura was would clock in a second that something is up, and boy does she.
“What are we doing?” As ever, Laura is asking a fair question! What are they doing? Remember, they have been broken up since, at best, very late 2020. It is three years later. Trust me, I know the dyke and dyke adjacent community loves to get back with an ex, but after THREE YEARS? If you are wondering is this just another opportunity to Christina to rant about how much better of a wife she would be to Laura than Bradley, then you are damn right! I just made brownies in the middle of the day! I would clean, I would cook, I would accept her paying people to clean and cook so I could watercolor and write all day, I would try not to be mean to her boring friends, I would do it all! Laura, please, I beg you: Pick me! Chose me!
Ahem. Bradley looks at her blankly, Laura explains her confusion, dropping that Bradley cancelled and uncanceled this very dinner. Props to her for going out at all! Once someone cancels, all bets are off as far as I am concerned! Hal is in town, Bradley starts, and el oh el the eye roll Laura hits her with. But this time it is not like that, because for once, Hal is trying to do the right thing and Bradley is the one stopping him. She cannot say that to Laura, of course, so she tells her that she has to go, that she’s a mess and she doesn’t want to take Laura with her. Please stop putting this woman through all this rigamarole, Bradley!
Upon returning home, she finds Hal out her actually charming little balcony, and drunkenly berates him some more. He’s going to ruin their lives, and has he even thought about the fact that she will lose her job? Hal brings up the GREAT point that she could have just deleted all the footage. But she didn’t, she used it to get on the news. Also we learn that she was the one who turned their dad in when they were kids and he killed someone in a DUI. Juicy!
The next….I’m gonna say morning, Alex is at the office, wearing a sick all grey + white slides look that I want for traveling, when Bradley drops by in the tightest leather pants I have ever seen. Alex can tell something is up, even more so when Bradley thanks her for “always being there for me and having my back.” Uh, so I guess 80% of the last two seasons never happened? Or the show always thinks they’ve been close? This is like the first time they have shared the screen since, what, episode three? Whatever! Alex wants to know why Bradley sounds like she’s saying goodbye, but Bradley is just really feeling overcome with love for Alex. That’s nice, but Alex has to dip to go fuck Paul. Oh, and Chip found out some dirt on him and she is gonna have to go really hard, but that’s the job, right? “It’s what we do, we hold people to account.” Don’t mind that, that was just the sound of the metaphor anvil dropping right on top of Bradley’s head. Alex hits the bricks—I am convinced every single “honey” Alex says is Jen just being Jen and calling everyone that—and Bradley contemplates the pain of being a liar.
Some moody shots of the Hamptons (seriously, how much are they paying for this spon-con?) establish that we are, in fact, in the Hamptons. “That was a long drive,” Alex says as she hops out of her SUV. “Yep.” Chip replies. End of scene?? Never change! She knocks on the door, then cracks it when no one answers, wandering in like she owns the place. Where is our erstwhile billionaire? A dog barks, and Paul comes in straight from the ocean, all easy breezy devil may care. Alex’s fluster is back in fine form, she mutters “you’re not dressed” when he appears, and when he says he is glad they found the road because “the turn on” is tricky, she goes “excuse me???” What an incredible mental space to be in for a big interview! Paul encourages them all to make themselves at home and do whatever they need while he goes to shower, and I encourage Alex to take a breath! Thankfully, she does not listen to me, and instead has someone crop her shirt so a sliver of stomach is showing. Whore behavior, and truly, behavior I respect.
Okay friends, I am sorry, but I need to level with you. I am fighting cramps and the crushing weight of being alive. Can we agree that I get to to rapid fire this interview so I can get to the good part? Plus, I just took a rather large hit of my weed pen, I have to hope you will forgive me if I do this quickly. Also, this is free so….what are you really gonna do? Next will be regular, I promise.
To be clear: Paul clocks the cropped shirt. The interview starts, and it looks like Alex is going to get her ass beat. Paul is charming and handsome, and even manages to throw some questions back in Alex’s face. They pause for a moment, and Chip is like “YOU GOTTA ZING HIM,” so she hits him with the info Stella gave them. Which, is thankfully not about sexual assault, as I feared, but rather about Paul paying a grad student a paltry 50K and making them sign an NDA for a piece of code he sold to governments. This student also suffered from depression and a suicide attempt, and we all know it’s Stella, right? He gives her a good response if it was off the cuff, a decent one if prepared, all about how he works too much and that he had to take a hard look at his life etc. It’s hard to tell how full of BS he is, but certainly at least 45%.
Oh, and Bradley is doing the news, but all of the events of the last few days are freaking her out, because there mere sight of the bathroom sink is enough to send her into so much of a daze that she fumbles on camera, seeing flashes of Hal fighting a cop in her mind’s eye. It’s very much like that time she anchored TMS in Groucho Marx Glasses after being outed. Meanwhile, Laura drops by Bradley’s apartment to do some unpaid therapy for Hal, apologizing for not getting to know him, and telling him that Bradley needs him in her life. She wants Bradley in her life (hurtful to ME) because she thinks that she could make her happy. Girl, I guess!
Back to the Hamptons: Alex lingers after the interview, pissing off Chip (who later panic proposes to Isabella on their way home. She has the good sense to say no.) but thrilling ME! Alex is taking her tiiiime getting out of Paul’s house. He apparently finds being grilled about his misdeeds erotic, telling her “I like that you went there.” Her response? “You like that?” NOW MADAM! You know, uba has certain standards, it’s not like they are in bed together or anything. She is by the door, he stalks toward her while they pretend they are talking metaphorically about being in bed together, and how they should keep it just a metaphor. “We’re in furious agreement,” Alex says as Paul is approximately three inches from her face. Oh, it’s ON.
GOOD kiss work! So good in fact, Alex forgets or pretends to forget that she is holding her coat, asks him if she is forgetting anything else, then drops her stuff as they MAKE OUT HARD. Personally I am deeply disturbed by how hot I find this, and boy do we have to talk about the longest slash only sex scene in the history of this show.
First things first: this sex scene exists for one reason, and one reason only: Jen Aniston wanted it to. My girl said I am fifty three years old, I look good as hell, we’re doing this. I mean, think about it, when is the last time you saw Jen in a sex scene? I gotta say, if Reese could commit to the bit, the powers that be would let her have a sex scene with Julianna! These ladies are running this show, it is silly to pretend otherwise! Also important to note the MANY shots of crashing waves on the beach, and it’s extremely important to note the way Alex and Paul wake up.
I was braced for awkward morning after nonsense, Alex sneaking out in the middle of the night (sidebar: where did her driver sleep? Did she tell him she was coming out to the car and then just…never showed up?) but no, these two are seem to be smitten as all hell. Even a call from Cory can’t stop them staring into each others eyes and fucking again. I’ll say it: Good for them!!!
And wouldn’t you know it, the power of love can heal almost anything— even the threat of your brother turning himself into the FBI! It seems Laura’s talk with Hal made him realize that he should keep his rioting to himself, because…I guess he gets that it would ruin Bradley’s life. Now that Laura has given him one (1) free therapy, he scrawls a note to Bradley before leaving that says he has changed his mind “about a lot of things,” and he won’t be turning himself in. So wee Bradley skips right over to Laura’s, confesses that she misses her, and they kiss in the street! It’s a solid B of a kiss, and the first one they have this season. Everyone do a shot!
NECKLACE WATCH
I am starting to think this is just something the costume designers did this and didn’t notice but I WILL not let it go!
why is this show so evil? they want us to be relieved that a domestic terrorist did *not* turn himself in? did I get that right? reminds me so much of season 2 when we had to watch literal HOURS of a mitch kessler being sad about being a rapist ( which we also saw! in detail!). gaaaah
Every one of your recaps is funny as fuck like 11/10.