S3 Episode 01: The Kármán Line
Well, since you're in the neighborhood... wanna go to space?
Friends, countrymen, unwell homosexuals, we have made it to Season Three! Who knew we would make it this far, who knew this show would continue to stun me at every turn, who knew we could be this blessed!
As usual, I am not bringing you up to speed on the events of last season. Mostly because I do this for free out of the goodness of my heart, but also because I firmly believe in self directed research! Other programming notes: I will have the second episode recapped for you… by the end of the weekend, probably? Some unplanned life events rocked my schedule last week and also I simply did not check to see if they were releasing more than one episode! It will be a fun weekend surprise, whenever I get to it. Alright, that’s enough of me, let’s get into it!
Alex Levy is Lazarus
It is March 10th, 2022 and Alex Levy is…dead?! I’m not going to lie—if I didn’t know this show already been been greenlit for a fourth season, I simply wouldn’t put it past them! But no, this is just Alex, Chip and Bisexual Isabella, watching a draft of her TMS obituary package. Important things to note here: Alex Unfiltered, AKA the show where she COVID sweated herself into Joe Rogan has won an Emmy?? Also, Alex was born in 1971, thus making her two years younger than Jen Aniston actually is. Okay!
“I look too perky, don’t you think I look too perky? Like, ‘Oh my god! She’s dead?’’ Alex asks her minions. Bisexual Isabella agrees, because, well, why else is she there? Chip thinks this is too morbid and doesn’t care, because Alex is not going to die! She is simply going up on a suborbital rocket! That sound you heard was the sound of millions of records scratching at once. Our girl is going to SPACE! If you can believe it (I am sure you can) she seems less than thrilled by this, whining and groaning as usual. “I would not put it past Cory to blow me up on live TV,” she says, and I have to agree.
It seems that in the years that have passed since we last saw the world’s most terrible twosome, they have either gotten over their issues, or Alex threatened to beat Chip with a lead pipe until he shut the hell up. I think you know which version I am hoping for. Alex is still nervous, but “the guy has multiple NASA contracts,” so what is there to worry about? She moves on by way of calling Cory, and takes a second to re-enact one of the most iconic Real Housewives of New York moments in history, then it’s time to get back to the Emmy award winning Alex Unfiltered! Do we know what time of day it is? No, of course we don’t!
*ring ring ring* What’s that? Oh that’s just the cameo alarm! We cut to Alex interviewing Esther Perel! I find it charming that The Morning Show is forever juuust behind the times, and clearly missed the memo that the trendy therapist of the moment is certainly Dr. Orna from Couples Therapy. It’s no matter, as they are both stunning, deeply severe women in front of whom I would be entirely incapable of doing any personal growth. Alex has one simple, totally reasonable question for this esteemed couples therapist. “What is everyone feeling right now?” Take your time answering!
SMASH CUT to Bradley asleep in a bed, where a woman with long dark hair is peacefully sleeping next to her. Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson??? Alas! Just some other dark haired hot woman. Partial kudos to Bradley for stealing my thing (being attracted to brunettes), real actual kudos to her for FINALLY getting a home! That’s right, our girl is sleeping in her own bed in her own home! Goodbye to The Archer Gray Hotel, hello the finest 2013 has to offer! Sorry, that is rude, but like, a converted loft with exposed brick? I’ll cop to the windows being stunning, but otherwise it’s very “on the planning committee for a midsize up and coming city” vibes. When Unnamed Dark Haired hottie asks if there is anything to eat, our charming hostess rolls her eyes and offers Advil. Seriously, Bradley, take a lesson from Meredith Grey!
Back at the set of Alex Unfiltered—which looks like it’s shot in Bradley’s building—Esther is explaining to Alex that in order to end the “emotional lockdown” we’ve all been living in, we have to “fully experience the difference between not being dead and being actually alive.” Alex squints at her with “say more” energy, but decides she feels alive when she is working on a story she feels passionate about. Esther asks her why she can only feel that way at work, and not with another human being. “Woah. Okay. Woah.” Alex says, in an eerily accurate impression of me in therapy. Chip and Isabella exchange a look that says “our lives would be better if our boss was getting laid,” and thus the seeds of Alex’s season arc are planted.
Bradley is on her way to work, FaceTiming slash lecturing a source. One night stands and a car service? Women CAN have it all! “People have to know what’s going on in Texas, Luna. I can’t express how important it is right now.” Luna (who I have to imagine knows how important whatever work she is doing is) says that she can only do next week. Bradley hangs up and looks thoughtfully out the window.
*ring ring ring* What’s that? That’s the new set alarm! Bradley is in “serious journalism” drag in this new uba office set, frowning like a serious journalist as she breezes by Cory. Hey, remember when he confessed that he was in love with her as they searched for her brother slash Plot Device among the unhoused people of New York? Yeah, that seems to have not gone well, as he nervously asks her about “the speech” for tomorrow. She has a shitty first draft done, but does not stop to chat. “I’m on in an hour.” On what in hour, you may ask? Well her EVENING NEWS SHOW, of course!!!! That’s right, three years after being randomly hired on TMS, our girl has made it to the big leagues! I am… weirdly proud and only slightly annoyed that so much time has passed without us knowing what happened!
But there is no time to be annoyed, because JON HAMM is here, and he is….in a sauna with Cory? He says the words “solo climbing,” so we know he is a man of adventure. Also his name is Paul? Okay! Cory is pushing him to make “the biggest media deal of the decade,” and they immediately start quibbling. It’s giving huge “Don’t Say Yes Until I Finish Talking” vibes tbQUITEh, and not just because of the sauna! These boys have some chemistry and I will be updating you RE: fanfics about them as the season continues. Anyway, they are arguing over who needs the other one more— Cory, because media is dead, Paul because… well, tbh Cory doesn’t really make a good argument as to why Paul needs him. It should not surprise you to learn that Paul is providing the suborbital rocket that will take Alex to space. Speaking of Alex, it turns out that while Paul will be putting her in rocket, he doesn’t get her whole deal. Surprising absolutely no one, Cory is ready with a monologue.
“She’s a survivor. That’s it. That’s what people wanna see right now. I mean, she got the broken marriage, she’s got the predation and the creepy co-anchor, and then she suffers through a biblical plague on live TV to become the one human people can actually relate to in this shit show of a so called democracy. I did not discover Alex Levy but I did bring her back from the dead. So to your question? Alex Levy is Lazarus. And that makes me Jesus. Except I am in more houses, seven days a week.”
Paul is unimpressed, and you know, kind of fairly? Gonna have to give this round to the newcomer!
In her palatial penthouse, Alex is watching Bradley’s SERIOUS JOURNALISM, while apologizing to her gorgeous dog for getting up so early. She’s off for a run, and weirdly the thing I can’t stop thinking about how easily and breezily she says hi to the coffee cart guy as he’s setting up. Since when is she so chill????
Of course, she has to drop by the Teacup to update TMS on her training journey, and I’lll stop doing the bell bit, but! New Character Alert! Nicole Beharie is here, absolutely crushing a two tone green look with a white boot. She is commiserating with Alex about how rough training is— as a former Olympian, she would know. Weirdly they never say her name, but it is CHRISTINA HUNTER. This Christina sees you, The Morning Show!! She is the new co-anchor of TMS with… Yanko? Yes, the Yanko who got cancelled last season, who punched a racist dick in the street, (honestly the coolest thing he’s ever done) is now the co-anchor of TMS. Sorry, but he does not have anchor juice! He is a weatherman, and that is all he ever shall be to me!
In the control room, Mia is frowning up at a screen, and when I see the contents that are being displayed on it, I too am forced to frown. It seems Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson has left uba for YDA, and she is currently yukking it up with Mindy Kaling. “They can’t possibly like each other that much,” Mia mutters, voicing all of our thoughts. Rena (ugh) is there to tell Mia to not be jealous, but Mia just wants to win, and god knows she deserves one!
“Hey Lizzy! It’s Mom— remember me? I gave birth to you?” Gotta hand it to Alex, that is much better parenting than “fuck you kid.” She wants her hellbeast of a daughter to come to Texas to watch her get launched in rocket, but alas, daughters simply do not answer the phone when mothers call! Alex steps in the elevator, and who should be there but her…friend? Enemy? Greatest creation? Bradley Jackson. I assume they are going to start screaming at each other, but no! Instead, they discuss Bradley’s new apartment, further cementing my theory that it is in the same building as Alex Unfiltered. There is a rug purchase to discuss (Alex was right, it's gorgeous!) and Bradley has discovered coffee machines that make cappuccinos. “Ohh, I have one of those,” Alex says smugly. “I call it Chip.” They giggle at the idea of torturing their underlings, something that I am technically opposed to, but due to my hatred of Chip, I find amusing. Sorry! They talk about Alex’s training, her obit package, and the fact that uba won’t pay for an original Beach Boys song. “Budget cuts,” Alex sighs, and readers? I laughed.
Alex is on her way to terrorize Cory, despite Kyle’s attempt to bar her from entering his office. Cory has been ignoring her, and she is (what else!) pissed. For his part, he’s all smiles and cheer as he attempts to do some talent wrangling. It seems the sauna with Paul went well, because Cory is now also going to space? In many ways, this random late addition makes no sense — does he not have to train? Will anyone care that a network exec is on a rocket? — but in other ways, it does make sense as Cory is clearly from…elsewhere. I think Alex is here to talk about….having more power? Or something? She saved uba+ and she has data from Doug (her agent, Will Arnett) to back it up! Apparently Alex has made uba two billion in ad dollars over the twenty years she has been there. She needs to be a real partner here! She has been out there “in the real world” (source????) for the last two years, she knows what people want, and that is Alex Levy with even more money and power! It’s what the nation is clamoring for! Cory, who still seems to hate Doug with the fire of one thousand suns, is not impressed with her demands for doubling her development slate, profit participation and a seat on the board. It’s unprecedented, you see! His argument does not seem to sway Alex in the slightest, as she retorts “I am unprecedented,” before threatening to push him out of the rocket. Demonic, unhinged, and demanding, Alex Levy is BACK!
Alex's surprise drop by makes Cory late for a meeting with HOLLAND TAYLOR and Stella, who had dropped the Athleisure business casual in favor of a killer vest over a lace long sleeved shirt. She's also got a possibly too severe new haircut, but I think I have landed on liking it? Cory asks what happens when stars run of out fuel, and when Stella correctly answers that they make a black hole, he goes “Hey! Nerd! Correct!” in one of those weirdly delightful line reads that only Billy Crudup can do. HOLLAND TAYLOR is pissed that Cory is “cannibalizing” the company to pay for uba+ and drowning them in debt. “Look, we can sit around counting beans, but wouldn’t it be more fun to plant them? Grow a beanstalk and turn uba+ into a giant?” HOLLAND TAYLOR rolls her eyes, as she is wont to do when Cory is monologuing, and Stella just looks at him and says “The giant dies in the end.” His reaction to this statement is truly that of a man who has never before heard the story and is absolutely devastated by it?
As he and Stella cruise out of the world’s shortest meeting, I am relieved to see that Stella is wearing a pair of banging sneakers. She is on her way to talk to Bradley, who is debating with her stylist if a strapless powder blue dress has too much boob. Stella likes it with the matching jacket, I personally think it should be a darker blue, and oh by the way? Bradley can’t do her abortion piece. She has a personal connection to the story (remember in season one when she blurts out that she had an abortion on her like, second day? Ah, memories.) Stella doesn’t trust her not to cross the line, which could lead to advertiser boycotts. Bradley does not take this well. “We were supposed change things, weren’t we? That’s why they brought us in? When I came in they called me an upstart, and then you started and they said you’re gonna love her, she’s such a disruptor.” Now Miss Girl! You know very well you were hired as a random power play by Alex, not to shake up TMS, please be serious! But no, Bradley is on a roll now, railing about having to “tweet this copy” (oooookayyy, my day job found dead in a ditch) and not being allowed to say certain things on network television, like someone who has never worked on TV.
Stella tries to push back, saying that Bradley is the only news anchor in America who can talk to both sides of the country but! I refuse to believe that is true! Any actual conservative audience would have written her off the second she talked about getting an abortion or when she started dating a woman! Hate to break it to ya Stella, but Bradley is firmly of the liberal elite these days!
Remember that random event Cory mentioned earlier? Well, it’s the American Alliance of Journalists…gathering? Where they give out one award? Whatever. Bradley is still fuming about her story being cut. Of course, she will handle her disappointment with the grace and charm befitting a woman who has her own evening news show, because Bradley is nothing if not professional! LOL, no, she’s pouting on the red carpet, beneath a step and repeat emblazoned with “TRUTH MATTERS.”
Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson is here, because unlike other awards, this one is actually about integrity in journalism. And she thought it might be nice for them to see one another, because they run in the same circles. Technically Laura means journalists, but she puts just enough weight on that line to make me think that what she really means is: you are my ex-girlfriend and gay circles are small and messy and we gotta keep it cute. Bradley doesn’t want it to be weird between them—but it’s not like she’s mad, or anything. “Why would you be?” Laura asks. It’s hard to express the perfect amount of nonchalance and casual condescension she manages to pack into that question.
Bradley is clearly taken aback, and even more so when Laura claims to feel partially responsible for her meteoric success. They immediately start relitigating their break up— Bradley insisting Laura didn’t want her to stay in Montana and Laura arguing that it was in fact Bradley who pushed her away. It’s a quite an emotionally accurate little tiff, but before they can really get into it, a photographer demands a photo. “Smile,” Laura coos between clenched teeth. “People are watching.” Bradley does not, and instead hits the bar. Unfortunately relatable!
Cory tries to get Bradley to stop slamming champagne, which is like, not an unreasonable request. She should be capable of not getting hammered at a work event where she is being awarded! But this is the same woman who took three weeks off in protest when she was not given a job she was barely qualified for, so of course she doesn’t listen. She rants about the Texas story, he tries to say that news is Stella’s division and he can’t interfere. “Would you interfere if we were together? Is that what it would take?” Hate to say it, but point to her! For his part, Cory just says “Huh.” Then he leaves with the bottle of champagne.
Alex has the honor of introducing Bradley, and we have the honor of finally knowing what this damn award is for— and boy do I need y’all to hold on your hats. Heard of the insurrection? Yeah? Well, Bradley Jackson WAS THERE. “Inside the Capitol. Separated from her crew in the chaos, armed with nothing more than her phone, Bradley captured some of the most indelible images we have of that day.” I want you to know that I watched these screeners with a gaggle of unwell homosexuals and the scream we scrumpt at this ru-veal? Bradley Jackson queered the insurrection??? A slay! It seems she is the highest rated network evening news anchor, as well as Alex’s “inspiration and good friend.” Okay! But of course, Bradley tosses the prepared remarks, leans in with a drunken deliberateness, and boy oh boy I was steeling myself for something truly cringe. “Thank you Alex. It’s been a whirlwind three years. And you know one thing I’ve learned as journalist? There will always—always—be someone who tries to silence you. So don’t let them.” Honestly?? it is kind of perfect, and Reese’s slight drunk drawl is so good I had to dig up that video of her wasted at the Met Gala.
She saunters off to the moodily stare at the water, and Alex is like, girl wtf is your deal? Bradley explains that her story got cut and that it was about a woman in Texas (Luna), and how she travels to Mexico to get abortion pills for women who can’t drive to the nearest clinic. This is work that matters, and Bradley can’t report on it. Look, that is a good story, I get why she’s pissed! I am not sure if this is like, the first time anyone has said no to her since she moved to evening news? Or has she been getting shot down left and right? It would track better, imo, if this was part of a pattern, but the other thing she seems to be mad at is like, promo tweets?
“You can’t report on it? Or you can’t go down there and drive her yourself?” Alex asks, rather perceptively. She also points out that Bradley has been dying for this job for years, and well, this is the reality of it! Bradley is like blah blah blah, I am impatient and ungrateful, I know. It seems like Alex is the only person capable of talking her off the ledge, but then again… does Bradley have any other friends? It’s nice seeing the two of them share a scene again, and I look forward to whatever inevitable betrayal will tear them apart as the season continues! On her way home, Bradley calls Luna to apologize about the story getting cut, and thanks her for the work she does, admitting that a woman like Luna was the only reason she was able to get an abortion at 15. It’s actually pretty lovely, and does not need the anvil over the head moment where Bradley looks at a digital bus ad of her own face with word TRUTH emblazoned over it, but bayyybeee this is The Morning Show!
Alex is en route to Texas for her space journey, commiserating with Bisexual Isabella about abortion laws. As usual, Bradley has opened Alex’s eyes to an issue that apparently never crossed her mind until now, and she is pissed! Bisexual Isabella is with her, and Chip is reacting with the defensiveness of, well, a cis man. “I agree! We all agree! Things in Texas suck! Lots of things! But maybe we just like….look forward to the barbecue?” GOD he is a loser! “Delicious. Brisket roasted over the ashes of women’s autonomy.” Alex mutters. Well for someone who didn’t care about this issue until about 12 hours ago, she is really letting loose!
The TMS crew arrives at Paul’s….rocket launch station, complaining about the heat and staring at the rocket that is to take Alex to space. Paul is there with TIG NOTARO and some other flunkies. Alex takes him in, then says “He’s tall,” with a little smirk. Oh, these two are gonna be FUCKIN!!! Paul gives his little speech, then immediately complains to TIG NOTARO that this is a disaster and he doesn’t need TV people around. TIG NOTARO tells him to suck it up, and I marvel at how similarly they are dressed. Paul wants to know what is “up” with Alex, and offers to take her on a tour of the facility, and suddenly the two of them are zipping around the Texas countryside in an ATV.
At some point, Paul decides he’s had enough of terrifying a woman he’s just met. Alex wants to know what the deal is with rich guys and their toys, and Paul wants to know what happened to the woman who got out of Bosnia on a motorcycle. “That was a hundred years ago.” Alex huffs, though she’s clearly flattered he read her book. They stop to take in the view — “200,000 unspoiled acres, and I plan to keep it that way.” Conversations about personal space are had, glances are exchanged, the flirting has begun! I gotta give to most of the props toJon Hamm’s charisma. Jen tends to find a very comfortable chemistry with nearly everyone she works with, but it's rare that she finds hot chemistry with leads. And no, it’s the not the MOST chemistry I have ever seen, but I will take what I can get! After a bit of light flirting, Alex trains her journalist know how on Paul—by asking point blank what it’s in it for him. The deal with uba is what’s in it for him, and Alex takes this new bit of information with her trademark chill.
KIDDING! Obviously we cut to her barging into Cory’s room, spoiling for a fight. This is why she needs a board seat! Cory cannot just send her to space to make a deal, she has to be brought in on these decisions! For his part, Cory does make a good argument, which is the general state of media right now, and Bill Gates is still pissed that Cory beat him in tennis in Sun Valley, so Paul is all we got. Alex realizes that he has not told HOLLAND TAYLOR about his little deal, and seems to accept his assurance that she will be “taken care of” despite that phrase sounding quite a bit like a threat.
Back in Bradley’s lofted apartment from 2013, our intrepid blonde reporter is typing away, then gets sidetracked by the gleam of her award. The award for the TRUTH, you feel me? Then her phone buzzes and she stares at it, then vanishes. Mysterious much??
Alex found the one person who would listen to her complain for hours— Chip —and boy is she going off! “I’m so tired of being managed. You ask for things politely, like a grown up, and you just get nothing. Why do I have to set something on fire to get someone to listen to me?” I get that we are supposed to understand that she means she USED to be polite, but girl! You have simply been setting fires from day one. Let us not forget that you dipped to Italy amid a pandemic because you couldn’t be bothered to return a call from a fact checker! Thankfully, Bradley interrupts her spiral— Luna has been arrested and she wants to know if she can borrow a camera operator. Alex looks at Chip, all determined and he already knows he is in for a headache.
Speaking of headaches! Cory gets a call from Earl, who I assume is the creepy guy who helped him bury stories about Hannah and leaked the story outing Bradley and Laura last season. I guess he is tailing Bradley, because he reports that she has gone to JFK, destination Texas. (If you don’t pronounce Texas like William Shatner in Miss Congeniality, I do not understand you.) He hangs up and sighs. These blondes will be the actual death of this man. I am worried about him!
Later that night, Mia is working in her hotel room, because she is one of maybe four people who actually does any work. Then she gets a text from Alex that just reads “I’m sorry.” It is important to recall the staggering number of things Alex straight up dipped on last season, from the debates to like, 95% of her days as co-anchor. Mia runs directly to her room, finds Bisexual Isabella there, and she immediately knows what’s up. She heaves a massive groan slash sigh and starts booking it to Stella’s room. God, these two exhausted women have to go through so much!!! I am happy they get to work together more, Karen Pittman and Greta Lee have a great easy chemistry. Stella sleepily mumbles “Can I blame you?” and Mia’s voice climbs three octaves as she squawks “WHAT? NO!” Comedy dream team! They realize there is only option.
Thankfully, my namesake is a woman of boundaries and does not fall for their weak spin which includes such gems as: You wanted to talk about girls in STEM! An Olympian in space! The marketing opportunities alone! “I’m gonna pass on being your guinea pig.” I know that’s right! Of course, this means they have no one to send up to space besides Paul and Cory, and as much as that sounds like a genre of porn, it’s apparently not for TMS viewers.
Which means there is only one person left, who happens to have just landed in Texas! I should note that at some point Mia tosses out Yanko as an option, but Stella shoots it down because it’s Women’s History Month. It’s buried deep in the bylaws, but she’s right: you cannot send three men to space in March. It’s literally illegal! Cory swings by the airport and is basically like “hey remember how much you owe me for that HUGELY MYSTERIOUS FAVOR I did for you? Guess what, you get to go to space!!!!!” There is a less than a second flash of a faucet and hands, presumably Bradley’s, and then dirty hands grabbing a bathtub and/or sink. Whatever…murder (???) they did together must be compelling blackmail, because next thing we know, Bradley is on her way to to the rocket! She has a deeply silly phone call with Alex where they basically say can you believe how this turned out?? I am where you should be and you are where I should be! Ah fate, you cruel and twisty mistress!
Yanko and Christina are sad to report that Alex had an “injury” and could not make the flight, but will wonders never cease, Bradley was able to step in! At the same time, Alex is reporting live from the jail where Luna was arrested, and maybe I am drunk on The Morning Show, but Alex is a better as a field reporter of serious things than she ever was on TMS? She was so… awkward and cold on TMS, and here her coldness reads more as gravitas? Eh, she’s a little weird reading her cue cards, but I am blaming that on Jen’s eyesight more than anything. Whatever, I’ve had some wine, sue me!
Bradley is LITERALLY IN A ROCKET GOING TO SPACE with Cory and Paul, the latter of whom is not impressed that former didn’t deliver Alex. Bro, cool it, you can’t fuck in rocket on TV anyway! The deserter in question is watching the coverage with Chip in some diner, looking faintly relieved and amazed. On the rocket, Paul asks if they’re ready, and the three of them unbuckle their seatbelts and get to FLOATING. Scored to the “Flower Duet” from Lakmé, naturally. Everyone is in awe, thinking about mortality and the universe and the wonders within.
And then the feed goes black.
The Twist
I have not really decided what will make up this section of the recaps this season, due to aforementioned unplanned life stuff, but thank god we have famous people to rank!
Inexplicably Famous Guest Stars, Ranked:
TIG NOTARO: 6/10: I know literally nothing about this character, and I could not find a single shot of her alone, but I like that they are matching and making the same face!
JON HAMM: 9/10: I always prefer comedy Hamm, but he looks hot as hell, so YOLO!
ESTHER PEREL: 12/10: Bops in, drags the shit out of Alex, leaves? Gorgeous work!
THANK YOU for maybe being the only queer woman who is doing the work (besides me) of cringe watching this show that's also got me by the neck! This show is ridiculous nonsense (last season's sad sack rapist storyline???) and yet...I love it. Also I don't know why Julianna Marguiles is so hot in this. I have seen ER (original airing), The Good Wife (and lived through the Archie Panjabi of it)...and yet this is the hottest she's ever been. Is this show the L Word made by straight people? Or is this a straight show made by gay people?
Cory didn’t think Bradlee should be drinking that champagne. Blackmail is he is covering for her drinking and driving and hitting and running. Calling it!