Episode 04: Kill The Fatted Calf
You’ll have to find some other woman’s vases to break.
Some notes this week! My absolute pal Jackson McHenry interviewed Julianna Margulies about The Morning Show playing Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson and would you believe it she answered my question about the “T” necklace!
“Also you’ll notice that Laura’s always wearing the same jewelry, and each piece of jewelry is meant to come from one of her jobs around the world. The necklace she wears comes from Egypt.”
And ear cuff was her idea!!! Incredible work JMargs, thank you so much for your service.
“What The Fuck Was That, Bojangles?”
While I am aware of the fact that live music performances are a morning show’s bread and butter, I would find it very jarring to hear The Foo Fighters at 8:00AM, even if it was to celebrate the holy event of Alex Levy’s return to morning TV. On the bright side, Dave Grohl sounds great. In the control room, Mia is doing her job when some random comes up with a bunch of coffees and is like “Chip said I should ask you where to put these.” Chip is rocking out with Resident Dark Angel Rena. The coffees are a weird extra detail, she could have just noticed him goofing off? Anyway. It sets A Tone.
Some Network Suit congratulates Cory and Stella on the Laura v. Alex interview. Cory looks smug and self satisfied but when he looks across the room at a gleeful Dancing Bisexual (??) Bradley, his face softens into something much more…wistful. Ruh-roh!
Boy, I really don’t love that we are introducing a “Cory is in love with Bradley” story! One of my favorite things about Cory is that his fully gonzo energy reads like he is beyond needs of flesh, like he’s a chaos demon who lives to create streaming services and dissipates into smoke when he removes his tie. It’s not as though the show hasn’t hinted at this before, but Bradley already made out with Laura, do we really need another workplace centered romance? Alas, The Morning Show has not hired me, so here we are.
Alex trips up to the stage, overplaying her oh gosh all this just for little old me routine? Dave Grohl’s daughter Violet tells Alex that she suggested they do this new song in her honor. Will this get her a SAG card? Alex stammers and blushes some more, then takes them to commercial. My favorite part of this scene is when Dave Grohl leans in and earnestly asks “You doin’ okay? You happy?” I find it very thrilling to think about the backstory that led Dave Grohl and Alex Levy to this moment where he is so invested in her happiness.
After the break, in a scene ripped from my own nightmares, Ty the Internet Wonder is reporting on trending topics, starting with the president’s budget cuts to Medicare to increase spending on a border wall. But if you can believe it, the top trending topic this morning is Alex Levy, so we can move right past all that unpleasantness. I truly do not understand why this segment would exist, especially if he just mentioning news items I imagine they would report on? The only way it works is if it’s him explaining the Twitter memes of the day and they play up how young and Online™️ he is, but: sure. The important thing about this scene is that Bradley is lost in what I can only assume is a Lesbian Sex Daze™ before remembering she’s on air.
“Bradley without Alex is like Rose without Jack,” Ty reports from Twitter dot com. On one hand, that makes sense, since Bradley and Alex have the same doomed love as Jack and Rose — but on another, more serious hand, it makes no sense at all given that they worked together for three weeks almost a year ago! Ty is serving up the Twitter compliments on a platter and Alex gets more and more twitchy as he goes on, finally begging him to stop somewhere around “Hashtag feminist God.” After the segment wraps, Ty lets Yanko know that his Groundhog Day clip started circulating again. You know, the one where he referred to the groundhog as his “spirit animal?” This time Yanko seems a bit more inclined to listen and scrolls through a timeline littered with the phrase “#YankYanko” which is a brilliant hashtag, kudos to that young social media professional!
Alex and her daughter Lizzie the Demogorgon are heading back to her dressing room amidst much fanfare and applause. Bradley is a little miffed that no one is giving her such a reception, but babe, you were literally just here on Friday, no one missed you. Gayle and RJ are talking about her chances for getting the moderator gig. “People still stop me on the street about that de Blasio interview,” Bradley remarks as she brushes her hair. MMMMMHmmmmm, sure they do. Suuuuree they do. “Are you going somewhere?” Gayle asks. Yes, I have to go my back absolutely blown out by Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson at 9:30AM!!! Or she pops a few Altoids and says she booked herself a meeting and she’ll call in couple of hours. It’s definitely one of those two options.
Lizzie the Demogorgon and Chip are watching Alex scroll through Twitter as she makes all of the little sounds of distress we are so used to hearing from her. For once, her daughter is acting like a rich teen instead of a ten year old with a crippling Electra complex like last season. “You’ve done this like a million times,” she notes dryly, before Chip suggests she get her mom something to eat from the kitchen. As if Alex Levy: a. eats food or b. eats food from common kitchens. The Demogorgon exits with a bottle of wine, something no one seems to be worried about. I am thrilled to see it because it’s the second age appropriate thing she has ever done. Chip is busy trying to Alex into moderating the debate. “The last thing I want is more exposure,” says the woman who decided to return to TV because she missed being perceived by others. But Alex! The network paid you so much to come back, isn’t there a part of you that feels like, maybe you should do it, in a show of good faith? Chip and his rumpled suit plead. “No.” She says, flatly, like the patron saint of Girlbossing. I am again forced to call my therapist because she should not be hot to me and yet!!!
Cory is sitting in his office, staring at a voicemail from Fred when Kyle pokes his head in. “I know it’s early in the day for the Donner Party, but + sent over a cut of the Forlorn Hope finale. You wanna watch it now?” I have at least sixty five questions w/r/t Forlorn Hope, but this is classic “sixteen seconds with Cory” scene that adds almost nothing to the plot and it is over after he enthusiastically decides to watch TV rather than deal with Fred. Respect! Much of my life is putting off phone calls in favor of TV!
We pan over a gorgeously arrayed nightstand, scored by the dulcet tones of a long exhale to Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson and Bradley post coitus. It is hard to overstate the degree to which my mind simply shut down the first time I took in this scene. Suffice it to say, I spent a lot of the day wandering around as if I had just been woken from an enchanted slumber, randomly muttering “They gave me actual homosexual content” and giggling like a madwoman. “For someone in the closet, you sure know you’re way around,” Laura hums. Bradley is not in the closet okay?? She didn’t spend three weeks in a D/s situationship with Alex Levy for nothing!
Ed note: I am aware that I could retire the “Alex and Bradley are exes bit” now that there is canon homosexual context, but unfortunately I do not posses the ability to pull back on a bit, even a little. Please see my entire twitter feed for confirmation.
What she really says is that she is not in the closet, she is just not actually a lesbian. I am quite sure people of all different sexual orientations can be closeted?? But what do I know, I am just an unwell homosexual who recaps this show for fun. Lesbian or not, Bradley has to be off now, she’s gotta go badger Cory until he gives her the moderator gig. Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson is like lol okay, that seems extra as hell??? Also the Cory I know would not be super receptive to that?
Bradley finally explains what happened after she and Alex exposed the network. The board fired Cory and put Fred on leave and suspended her. Bradley “unloaded” on the board and this somehow convinced them to bring Cory back, and his first act was to lift her suspension. They were best friends! But fuck him!
Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson clearly thinks there a bit more to to the story of Cory’s return, and probably he and Bradley’s friendship, tbh. She does not say any of that, but instead reveals that they (the network? Holland Taylor?) are talking about replacing Cory because uba is in third, the ratings are sinking, there are scandals ABOUND, and he is blowing a ton of money on uba+. Clearly she has not seen the finale of Forlorn Hope! Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson also thinks more streaming services should be illegal, and Bradley is like “I guess you could just not subscribe?” WINK WINK.
Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson suggests that Bradley reconcile with Cory because perhaps her strategy of throwing six thousand tantrums a minute is not the most useful career path? Bradley smiles at her in a way that conveys she is a little annoyed by the lecture but alsoooo a little into it. Like, sexually. Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson looks fucking radiant and raven haired and even though I despise her headboard, the rest of her palatial apartment is possibly turning me on more than she is? I am only kind of kidding, there is a glimpse of an honest to god COURTYARD.
Back at uba, Mia is on her way to meet with Stella, but Daniel needs to talk to her, and no, it cannot wait a second longer because it already waited two weeks in Beijing! Mia tries to get ahead of the conversation by assuring him that whatever she needs to discuss with Stella is not about him, but that is actually what he mad about! “I had a lot of time to think while I was trapped in the tiny little box,” he starts and Mia is like if you call the Hilton a tiny little box one more fucking time I swear to God I will beat you to death with red hot poker.
But no, Daniel is talking about the tiny metaphorical box! You know, the one that he has been relegated to as black man working for this network. Mia gets it, because she is a black woman trapped on this hellhole of a show, but she’d rather have the chance to be in the room at all. You might be surprised to learn that Daniel wants to moderate the debate. “There should be some black voice up there. And it’s not gonna come from one of the candidates.” We all pour one out for representational politics, the great dream of America, and Mia dips.
In a plot that I cannot believe is taking up enough of this episode that I must discuss it in the main section, Mia and Stella have the deeply unpleasant task of explaining to Yanko that yes, he does have to apologize for his “spirit animal” comment. He is being almost too obtuse? Like, to a level that does not track even to the tiny amount of character development he had in S1. “It’s not like I did a rain dance!” He hits all the greatest hits of a blundering asshole who won’t just apologize and move on, like “I don’t even understand how it’s offensive!” and “You want me to apologize for something if I don’t even mean it?” “In a perfect world,” Stella says through gritted teeth, “You understand that what you did is wrong, you learn from it, and you apologize.” She is wearing a business windbreaker, and I love her.
After he leaves, Mia is like heyyyyyyyy so you know Daniel? What if he moderated the debate? The network wants Eric, Cory wants Alex. The thing is, Mia explains, is that Daniel feels like he is only asked to report on…diverse…stories. Stella, god bless her, does not mince words. “In my opinion, Daniel has reached the level of his charisma. Which, to be clear, is hosting the nine o clock hour on a major television network.” Ouuuuuuuch.
Here is the thing: Daniel is not, as we have seen thus far, particularly charismatic or fun to watch. I don’t know if that is the actor or the writing (myyyy gut says the latter) but he does read a little flat. But! None of them! Are! Good! On! TV! Alex especially, she looks like she is seconds from tears the entire time she is on camera, she has never once shown the “It Factor” that Stella seems to crave. And like, of all the things this role asks Jen to do, I feel like “be charismatic on TV” should be the thing most in her pocket???? It’s very confusing, but everything about this show is confusing and Daniel simply will not be moderating the debate.
Speaking of Alex, she and Chip have moved their conversation to her sumptuous office and she is basking in the light of the green screen view from the windows. He is giving her notes on her memoir when Stella whips in and makes herself comfortable, much to Alex’s obvious displeasure. She is trying to convince Alex that she should do the debate, and whew Alex is noooot having it. How dare this young woman of color have the AUDACITY to tell her what to do!
“She’s got this attitude about her like she’s some arbiter of morality.” Of course, Alex is still fixated on her fear that someone might find out that the “The Feminist God” is really a Feminist Fraud (AYOOO!!!) and everything she worked for will come tumbling down on her exquisitely highlighted head. Oh, she also takes the time to make sure Chip knows that Stella didn’t want him to come back, which sends him into a spiral. Suffering together, that’s what friendship is!
Daniel wants to know how Mia’s conversation with Stella went and goddamn my girl does not pull any punches. She straight up tells him that Stella doesn’t think he has the It factor, then says “I think she would prefer you think that she is blind to your charms instead of thinking she’s a bigot.” Personally, I would rather think someone was bigot than think they were not charmed by me. My god, the horror. Daniel correctly points out that being a bigot might in fact lead someone to be blind to his charms, and wants to know if Mia pushed back. “She knows I think she’s being ridiculous.” Mmmmm does she though?
Cory is pacing around his suite in a suit, talking to a gravelly Mystery Voice on the phone. He wants to find out how Fred is planting stories about Hannah and if they can stop him, but he does not want Mystery Voice to kill Fred. I have to disagree, Fred sucks and I think a bonkers murder plot is exactly what The Morning Show is missing. Bradley swings by to make her big apology, and look, this doesn’t matter but she left Laura’s at like…10AM? It’s night now? What has she been up to all day?
Anyway, she knows their friendship has suffered and she wants to fix it. He’s happy to hear it, he has wiped the slate clean and is ready to move on! Also, he still doesn’t know who is moderating the debate. Bradley doesn’t care about the debate! She is taking Laura’s advice to heart and tries her best to apologize, but immediately ends up with “and just because I’m abrasive it doesn’t mean I don’t care about out fucking friendship.” Cory’s response is this:
She tries again and mostly nails it, but she does still end with “CAN WE JUST GET THE FUCK OVER THIS, CORY???” Because it’s been a minute since Billy Crudup chewed some scenery and he needs it to stay living, he gets to deliver a monologue about having her best interests at heart and how he needs her to trust him and it’s like, just shy of him confessing that he is in love with her. Again I say BLEEECHH. “Besides, I’m too old to have enemies. It’s weird when you’re fifty one years old and you’ve got enemies.” Clearly Cory is not active on Twitter.
Bradley quietly admits that anger is the only thing she knows, she doesn’t know what to do with hurt, so she lashes out. It’s a nice moment of Bradley being a bit more grounded and human, not just screaming about the Truth. They hug, and he admits that he does know who is moderating, probably Alex, and he doesn’t “see the network using two straight white women.” Well I WONDER if that will come up again?
“Did you call?” Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson asks as she lets Bradley into her perfect fucking house. Seriously, I cannot express how in love with this house I am, also I am not SURE that it’s a house but everything about it is leading me to think brownstone. There is an entire patio? My knees are weak. Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson’s lounge around the house outfit is absolute dyke perfection, look at those sandals!!!
Bradley is trilled to report that Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson’s advice worked! She’s not going to get the debate, but they patched up their friendship and when you think about it, it makes sense that the network is not going to trot out two straight white women. “You’re really gonna need diversity up there to ask about stop and frisk.” You know, just “diversity,” the kind you get at the ol diversity store.
While I am stuck on that howler of a line, Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson is like I’m sorry, I thought the woman who asked me to put my fist inside of her this morning said she was straight? Bradley says most of the world thinks she’s straight and she’s just a sexual person and isn’t sexually fluid a thing and look, one time she had a threesome with two guys, does that make her… “-A slut?” Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson says, laughing. It’s…a very weird sentiment and deeply strange delivery, but that’s why I put on my clown shoes and watch this show every week. Bradley doesn’t think it’s funny, but Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson thinks it’s a little funny that Bradley “has it so easy and makes it so hard.”
Bradley does not want to walk into Stella’s office and say that she is a “gay bisexual type” and get the debate, no matter how much Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson thinks she should use it to her advantage. It becomes clear that what is really bothering Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson is that something else—she’s envious. She kept herself closeted because it was 1997, and when she was outed, she lost her job at YDA. Bradley is shocked that they fired her, which is like…babe try to to keep up okay? I love Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson’s response enough that I am going give you the full text.
“Of course they did. Why would I have quit that job at that point in my career? I mean, it wasn’t explicit, they didn’t literally hand me a pink slip, but when you’re not wanted, people find a way of letting you know. And I don’t know, I have to tell you, there is something inside me that wants to resent you for not being grateful for this. I see someone who is walking the same path—honestly a path I helped lay, and it’s…a little annoying. And I’m envious, that’s it! I lost a job for being gay, you should embrace it.”
Obviously no one should come out until they are ready, we are all adults, we know this. But of course Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson feels like this! Of course it’s a little annoying for her to watch Bradley duck from the chance to do something she would have loved to have been able to do on her own terms. What I like the most about this moment is that is one of very few instances of someone expressing feeling on this show without screaming or crying? Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson knows it’s envy, she’s knows it’s unfair that she feels this way. It’s so emotionally healthy??? God she’s gay!
Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson then accuses Bradley of using her identity as a Southerner™ when it suits her. I would include a audio file of Julianna’s line reading if I could, the faux accent she slips into is so bonkers. I can’t tell if this is The Morning Show calling itself out for all the times Reese’s accent has waxed and waned since the first season, (I dare to you to watch the pilot again and listen to the accent Reese is doing there) but that’s probably just wishful thinking.
Anyway, Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson does the whole “you are from the South and you are repressed thing” and I don’t think she is wrong exactly? But it is a bit reductive, both of sexuality and the South. Aside from all the fanfic I have included in these recaps, I do think this is Bradley’s first time coming to terms with this part of herself and she absolutely gets a lot more than twenty four hours to work through it before coming out on live TV or whatever?? Either way, it’s all too much for her and when she gets up to leave, Laura hits her with a “go live in your delusional world” which is just mean! This, as you can imagine, does not go over well with Bradley and she straight up smashes a vase that is the size of her head to the ground.
She then tells Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson that she will be smashing a lot of vases around here and that she is NOT REPRESSED, okay?? Repressed or not, Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson has better things to do than watch her art get destroyed. She sends Bradley on her way with the simply gorgeous line: “You’ll have to find some other woman’s vases to break.” Bradley slow motion cries on the stoop.
The next day, Yanko is complaining to Daniel about the big apology he has to do and Daniel is complaining about being the guy without the It factor. More importantly, BERNADETTE PETERS CANCELLED and I fall to my knees and howl at the injustice. Chip tries to help, but Mia doesn’t want him undermining her authority, which of course just makes him spiral about Alex saying no one wanted him here. He straight up asks Mia if she wants him there, QUITE a bold move for a man in yet another fucking crumpled corduroy suit. She just looks him up and down and it is fucking brutal. Of course because of who I am, it is also deeply, deeply hot to me.
Yanko bombs his apology, surprising absolutely no one. Lots of “if people were offended” and “I think the people that know me best know I am not racist” blah blah blah. Stella is pissed and her mood does not improve when Cory, who “just wants to get to mid March so we can launch this streaming service” (HAHAAHAH) calls about the debate moderators. He is still pushing for Alex to do it, Stella lists the very many people who could do it instead and then lays into him for hiring her just so he could have a young Asian woman around for optics. “Don’t just pay lip service to empowering me, either do it or let me walk. Alex was never my first choice for anything, if that’s who you want, do it yourself.” Cory insists that talent is talent and that she is underestimating Alex which…..well she isn’t, but that is neither here nor there for the moment. Stella needs to get Alex on board and Cory needs to talk to Mystery Voice who says that the story about Hannah won’t be in The Times, but someone will pick it up. PLEASE let Mystery Voice kill Fred!!!
Stella passes Daniel in the hall and says she’s looking forward to The Twist, and he stares dramatically after her, then strides back on set VERY purposefully. Alex stops by to chat with Bradley, and I realize for that they have barely been in any scenes together this season. Alex is wearing a great watch and a sleeveless turtleneck and also does not want to do the debate, nope, no sireee, not at all, so Bradley should jump on it now. She gets back to set and Bradley asks if Stella is around. She’s got six minutes to make her case slash possibly come out!!
Mia is confused because the pianist is still on set even though Bernadette cancelled, and only gets more confused as Daniel launches into a long speech about how happy they are to have Alex back. Mia tells him to get back on script but instead he rips out his earpiece. The pianist starts playing the opening cords to Neil Diamond's "America," and Daniel begins to sing. “Good god.” Mia mutters. I cannot express how funny it is that Alex is just trapped on the couch alone, forced to watch this spectacle and pretend that she is enjoying it for a full six minutes.
Bradley manages to corner Stella and argue her case for why she be moderating the debate. She winds herself up for a coming out, saying “this is just something I barely acknowledge about myself because…quite honestly I just don’t…know how I feel about it. But I want to be…truthful (OF COURSE YOU DO) and ummmm….I’m……from a southern conservative family.” Welp! You tried! And look, it’s hard to say you are a “gay, bisexual type” out loud! Better luck next time babe! Stella is like whatever also is Daniel singing?? Boy is he! When he finally finishes, Alex pretends she had a good time being tortured, and Mia asks the question that was on all of our minds: “What the fuck was that, Bojangles?” Daniel meditates on this question alone in his darkened dressing room after getting what I imagine was Quite A Talking To from Stella.
Fresh off the news that they got some big ad buys from Unilever and that it will be the best February sweeps ever—thanks to Alex— Stella goes to her dressing room to work her magic. She tells Alex that it’s probably unfair that she lumps her in with all the shit that happened at the network over the last fifteen years, but she does. Alex is like hello excuse me, I said it was fucked up!! Me!! But when Stella insists that she earned a connection to the women of this country, Alex is hesitant to agree. “I’m not quite sure that that’s true.” It is perhaps the first honest thing she has said to Stella ever? Stella’s point is this: Alex opened a door, and it’s time she walked through it. Alex whispers okay in response, which I guess is her agreeing to do the debate. Again, Alex, you did not have to come back! You could have avoided this! Why are you surprised that you are dealing with the repercussions of your actions?? (I know why, hush.)
Speaking of repercussions! Bradley goes back to Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson’s to apologize, $300 Crate and Barrel gift card in hand. She knows she has a lot of nerve showing up here, and she knows she is a pain in the ass, but she wants Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson to know that she’s…aware if it, I guess? Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson literally does not speak throughout this entire scene, and when she turns to go inside, Bradley grabs her in a very desperate hug. Noted Lesbian Laura Peterson’s face going from startled and surprised to “Jesus Christ, baby gays are exhausting” is Emmy worthy and I won’t hear a word against that.
For our ending montage, Alex watches promos for herself moderating the debate, then turns off the TV. Cory goes to talk to HOLLAND TAYLOR about the stories Fred is planting about Hannah, and while HOLLAND TAYLOR understands that losing a child is the unimaginable pain, she is NOT friends with Fred and she will not reach out to him. She reveals that Fred was actually the reason Cory got hired back, and their little bargain got Fred his 119 million dollar payout. Truly bless Bradley for thinking she had that kind of power. Her line reading of “It’s time to face the fact that actions have consequences, and I keep my temple clean,” is quite good, but it is no “all I do is piss.” Cory is conflicted. Episode! Over!
Brother, Can You Spare a Translator?
Mitch is still working on the documentary with Paola the extremely Italian woman, in one very bonkers scene he watches her interview footage with some law professor that is fully in Italian and she explains that she asked about Amanda Knox and he says “Wow, that’s really smart.” Okay?? Paola kisses his cheek and he’s like do not TOUCH ME which is demonstrating that he was very fucked up by his own actions? I guess? Who CARES??? Also his ex wife, Miss Honey, calls him about the stories about Hannah, he is the one who tips Cory off. I am thrilled that Cory also wants no part of his whining, poor me bullshit. Oh, by the way, the professor Paola interviewed has COVID so she and Mitch have to quarantine. Thrilling.
Best Jennifer Aniston Sound of Distress
Most Baffling Line of Dialogue:
"The company's balance sheet looks like a hemophiliac's used Band-Aid."
Next Week: Ghosts
I am in Love with Laura in a way that is half hero worship and half just me being really, really, mega-gay.
Another great recap! Thank you for no really giving Mitch attention.